Things I Love

Things I Love: Week Two

BULLET JOURNAL Two weeks ago, I was feeling INCREDIBLY stressed out heading into my third revision of the novel I’m working on. I was constantly asking myself where the day had gone, and consistently felt like I had done nothing all day. Time just seemed to get away from me, and I couldn’t figure out why. So, I sat down on a Sunday and spent the entire day refreshing my bullet journal. I had previously had a lot of success tracking habits and to dos in it, but I had allowed someone else’s opinion about it to usurp my own needs and had stopped using it. But, I had reached a critical point where I could choose to continue to wing it every day and let this person’s critical voice silence my own, or I could choose to do what I knew would help me get more organized. I decided what I needed was more important than what they thought.

I created a page with my editing/revising schedule for the novel as well as some tracking pages for other daily projects I was working on. On my daily page, I added circles for each 8oz water I drank, a time tracker, a mood tracker, and a space for a daily tarot/oracle card where I could put a brief description of what resonated with me from the message so I could look for patterns. Then I listed all my to dos. One column for daily items and one column for things that needed to get done but not necessarily that day. I also added a vitamin/medication/food log, and moved my gratitude/proud/preferences list that I’ve been writing out every night for 268 days now. For that list, I write three things I’m grateful for, three things about myself I’m proud of, and three preferences I would like to manifest in my life such as how I would like the next day to go, something I might want for someone else, a physical item I would like to bring into my life, or a resolution to an issue going on in my life (a practice from Mary Shores that I modified slightly).

Because of the changes I’ve made, my life has turned around dramatically in less than two weeks. I know exactly where my time goes now. I have a list of what I’ve accomplished each day. I remember what needs to be done because it’s all right there in front of me instead of whirling around in my head. Restarting the bullet journal is one of the best things I have done for myself this year, and BONUS: it silenced that critical voice of the person who kept telling me tracking everything was stupid and obsessive. BOOM!

MIRACLE MORNING I used to do the Miracle Morning routine, and it was so beneficial for my mental health and my daily productivity. I would get up somewhere between 4:00 AM and 5:00 AM and fit in ten to fifteen minutes on each of the following: meditation, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading, and writing. It really filled me up. Well, the person who didn’t care for my bullet journal tracking also didn’t care for my early morning routine, so I had stopped that, too. (Side Note: that person is no longer in my life!)

When I was feeling so stressed out that Sunday, and trying to figure out how to get my life back in order, I remembered that a Facebook friend of mine had been posting in the Miracle Morning group, and it really inspired me to start practicing again. So, I made a plan, got my resources together, and started the next day, and I have been doing it ever since. AND, I absolutely LOVE it!

Here’s my practice:

NOT PULLING THE WEEDS – I usually spend a lot of time planting a small garden in my backyard. I’ve been really busy with the novel, but I’ve also been very frustrated by neighbors allowing their dogs to poop in my garden and tear it up and never clean up after them or even attempt to redirect them away from my garden. There has also been a groundhog each year that sneaks down and eats many of the plants destroying them, so it’s been a real struggle maintaining a garden even though it’s important to me. I’ve often thought there is a message in my experience with this garden and the fact that my boundaries keep being crossed no matter what I try to do to protect them. This year, I just let the garden go. I was tired of doing all that work only to watch it get destroyed. I had plans to pull out what I thought were weeds, and at least keeping the area clear. But, I got distracted with the novel revisions, and have not had the chance to get out to do it, and it’s a good thing I didn’t because it is now filled with beautiful flowers! Somehow, seeds I had planted three years ago, that I had completely forgotten about, just decided to bloom all over the garden. And I love it! It’s so beautiful. I love opening the blinds to my back door and looking at all of them standing tall among the weeds I didn’t pull. They bring me so much joy.

EFFY WILDAnother really good decision I made this year was to join Effy Wild’s Moonshine 2019 course. I loved the class so much, I joined her Effy 365 which includes all of her class offerings this year. I love her authenticity so much. I love that she does not sugarcoat anything. I also love that I can see so much of myself in her, and that makes me feel less alone, less alien, especially since she is so confident in who she is. She gives me hope that one day I will be able to just be me as I am without the constant need to intuit others needs and transform into who they need me to be. The reason I am loving on her so hard this week is because I was having a really bad day the other day, and I found solace and healing in one of her Wilderhood FB videos, and the rest of my day shifted into a wonderful, productive day. I love that I have access to the healing space and energy that she holds so that I can seek solace, and grow, and evolve at the pace I need.

ONE SMALL STEP CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE As part of my Miracle Morning routine, I started reading this book that I had bought over a year ago and hadn’t had time to read. I love it so much. I am someone who has always believed that I had to make huge life changes all at once in order to see any results. I am also a person who has felt like a failure for most of my life because I’ve been unable to implement those changes long-term. I love the Kaizen Method author Robert Maurer discusses in this book. It is the idea that even teeny tiny steps can add up to big changes. For example, he suggested starting out an exercise routine by just doing something like standing or walking in place for one minute. Then you can add a minute the next week and the next week, and the next week. Doing this helps you bypass your fears and beliefs that keep you from moving forward. Basically, if you do something small enough, it will not trigger your fight or flight response, and eventually your brain will be conditioned that what you are doing is normal and will no longer trigger a fear response. I love this idea so much, I can’t wait to start implementing it into my life.

Art, art journal

Planting A New Story

Today, I stepped into a creative flow that I haven’t experienced very often, but hope to experience much more often in the future. In my writing practice, I have been doing something different. I have been coming to the blank page and writing what comes to me, and it is working! I wrote 2000 words today, and a part of the puzzle was put into place.

I normally write in a chronological way, and I get stuck wondering…what happens next??? and my creative flow just stops. But when I come to the blank page, and just write a description of whatever image I see or words I hear in my head, scenes just start to branch out from there, and I spent most of the time trying to get it all down in a frenzied state. Another approach that has been working for me is starting out asking the question “What if…” at the top of the blank page and then creating a scene with whatever comes to my mind first.

Today, an image and words showed up. My protagonist emerged as an 8 year old in an orphanage and said to me, “I was angry all the time, even at a very young age. I could never figure out where the anger came from.” And the story just took off from there.

Stepping into the creative writing flow might have something to do with taking the weekend off from writing. I decided on a creative practice routine which includes writing Monday through Friday and then making art on Saturday and Sunday. My grandmother passed away on Saturday, August 25th, and that brought me into the space of grieving. Maybe moving into a different space, created space for my creative mind to slow down and breathe. As I sat on the couch last night, binge watching television, an idea I had had before for an art journal project I’m working on came back to me in a sudden flash. I have been creating an art journal using pages from Meera Lee Patel’s Start Where You Are and an art journal I made by hand. I ripped out the next page in the book which had to do with leaving behind old stories that no longer work for you. You can see the page from the book on the left side of the spread below with my flower embellishments. On the right, is the layered garden I created with my old stories/beliefs, black gesso, textured paintbrush ends, gel pens, my new stories/beliefs, watercolor paints, and Gelatos. Along with the pictures below, I discuss the process I used to create the garden.

The prompt from the book was “What do you wish you could leave behind?” So, I wrote my answers out all over the page as you can see below. They included old stories I have been living through the lens of and old, worn out beliefs that I have been living by.

Then I covered them all up with a homemade black gesso (I mixed black acrylic paint with white gesso) as a way to erase them, but also to create the soil to sow the seeds of new stories and new beliefs. Then I ran a textured paintbrush end all along the page to till the soil.

Then I added some embellishments with watercolors and with a gold gel pen wrote out my new stories and my new beliefs that I want to embody to serve as a kind of fertilizer for the garden, and then added golden dots throughout to serve as seeds.

Then on top of that layer, I added the blooms using watercolors and Gelatos to signify the blooming of these new stories and new beliefs in my life.