I love having the support of the other members of the Find Your Flow group. Yesterday, I was feeling incredibly frustrated, today is no different, but some of the suggestions from the group helped me work through it today. I’m not happy with my sketches…again, but when a member suggested that I do the sketches, then set them aside to revisit later, that made sense to me. I thought, how amazing would it be to have a sketchbook full of various characters to explore in July. Wouldn’t that be better than none at all, even if they weren’t the best sketches…yet?
So, for today, I continued with Nina Rycroft‘s Face Shapes Skillshare course, and set the goal of drawing six faces for each face shape. Today’s lesson was heart-shaped faces. You can see the results below. What I learned today is my perfectionist side is getting the best of me…and…I have yet to find a decent eraser. I mean, is it really too much to ask to have a decent eraser? (ha! ha!). It is probably user error, but me and erasers don’t get along. I’m sure there’s a lesson in there somewhere.
Members of the Find Your Flow group got our weekly video guidance from group founder and leader Karen Abend. This week is about our fear of sharing our work, and also comparing ourselves to others. She led us through an exercise in allowing our inner critic to raise her objections and then time to allow our inner love to raise her voice in rebuttal. A braid of various threads is emerging for me. The first thread is that I don’t know how to have fun. I don’t even know what “fun,” is for me anymore. Some of this has to do with my life being filled with lots of serious things that have demanded my focus for many years – a son with special needs, a chronic, sometimes debilitating dis-ease that rises up unpredictably. Some of it has to do with giving up certain vices that I thought brought me joy – the biggest one being alcohol. Fun used to be going to bars and getting drunk or even sitting on my back patio with friends and getting drunk. It helped free my social side – something that is almost non-existent without alcohol. Even though I stopped drinking heavily and socializing many years ago, I never redefined what fun was for me. I just stopped. When I completed the inner critic exercise this morning, what came out was a series of reprimands about having fun, that now is not the time for such frivolous things, that if I take the time to have fun, I will lose everything. These are serious times, and there are lots of serious things that demand my attention. How dare I take the time to have fun?
Then I gave voice to the loving side and what she said is so important I wanted to share it all with you.
You are pure magic. Look at what you’ve already created without a daily practice. Can you imagine where this could go with some focus and daily practice? The possibilities are endless. Listen to what the others in the group have to say – they are the messengers. You have created the life of your dreams already. Granted there are a few things yet to evolve, but you spent a large part of your life doing the “right” thing, you deserve this time to create, grow, and nurture yourself. This is your next step, it is why you are stuck. I needed you to see beyond the scope of full-time jobs and tangible, measurable results. It’s time to leave that world behind. It is no longer part of your journey and you’ve been carrying that much too heavy burden for much longer than was necessary. Set it down here and now. Feel the weight of it as it releases from your body and lands on the ground. This lightness of being is what freedom feels like. Set it down. Journey home without it. It no longer serves you. I cannot wait to show you what I have prepared for you. It is already yours – the journey can be light or heavy – that is your choice – but you will get there either way. Why don’t we have some fun along the way? Set your burden down. Let’s go!